They Say that if you want to see the town in color Red, wear Red glasses!!
However, for how long can you keep juggling with glasses when you yourself don’t know which color you want to see the town in?
Every morning while grabbing the newspaper and abiding by the steadfast ritual of reading the news (Yeah, am passé! still reading the hard-print when it can be and it is, on handheld) I vow to cease the customary, after-all who wants to begin their day on such an off-putting and negative tone?
Doing so, am acting like a pigeon that closes its eyes seeing the cat, assuming that if it can’t see the cat, the cat, actually does not exist. This is my escape from reality.
But when it comes to children, I switch from pigeon mode to being hawk eyed who wants to grab each facet of the society and doesn’t want to ignore the impending.
One such incident lately didn’t just traumatize me. It baffled me!!
The whole concept of parenting has changed But is this change an evolution from conservative or maybe unadventurous concept of parenting OR this is a mere change at superficial level?
It’s that chapter of parenting wherein a mother is tagged dotting depending upon the number of afterschool activities her children are enrolled in.
Wherein the fathers triumph at parenting is directly proportional to number of overseas oops, I mean exotic locales the children are vacationed at!
That phase of parenting wherein the play dates depend upon the socio- eco stature of the would be friend!
Yes, we all want to give best to our children and why not, if we have pockets deep enough to support it But withstanding the fact that it is nurturing what it takes all.
Can we envisage a plant growing out of a shoot with lush green leaves bearing juiciest of fruits, But with feeble roots, Am sure we can’t !! Then how can have that approach towards Parenting?
With Teachers Day celebrations in the air wherein the modern age Gurus are facilitated and day long merriment to commemorate the contribution of noblest of profession just gotten over, we somehow generally forget that we as parents are the first and foremost teachers to our kids, who are there not for a grade or two but for Life.
I often encounter conversations wherein I am told or maybe cautioned to counsel my kids to avoid the company of XYZ child reason being, He is not good.
Yes the adage goes, “A man is known by the company he keeps” But how do we define Good?
Can two distinct people have similar definition of Good?
Can distancing our-self from the so called Bad make us Good?
As a Chinese proverb goes, “You give hungry a fish; you feed him for a day. You teach him to fish, you feed him for life”.
As a parent for how long can I monitor the company my child keeps?
Maybe the so called good boy/ good girl is not the best company my child wants to be in…
Maybe my child likes to play most with the so called bigoted one…
As a parent I educate my child not to be prejudiced but to be able enough to sieve right from wrong.
We encounter hundreds of people each day but it is upon us what we pick from each one of them-
The Positives or the Negatives?
Similarly if our kids learn this trait of picking the right over wrong which in-turn is guided not by logic but by heart, our job as parenting is done.
What happened in one of the plushest of schools in Delhi NCR is just an episode of hollow parenting.
Parenting done out of societal pressure and not value driven.
It is easiest to raise finger on school But Excusez moi –How much time a child is spending home vis-a-vis school? The newest of age schools are also maximum 9 hours including the travel time.
Do we need special sessions to imbibe values in our children or they are a part of mundane conversations or miniscule incidents occurring throughout the day?
Now I understand what the elderly meant when they said, “Raising children is no cake walk”.
I with extra dose of inquisitiveness happened to attend a parenting workshop. The audience was all of parents of 10 to 12 year old. We were bombarded with positive parenting tips. It felt like my child is yet not grown and I was soon flashbacked to his pre-school days where the effort was encouraged and not
the outcome. Yes, that’s the way it should be BUT till what age?
Being in Pre Teens, even today if I cocoon him with the so called “appreciate the effort” kind of talks,how will he face the challenges of this wild-wild world where he is yet to face rejections or disappointments academically, emotionally, professionally and et al.
My son refused to attend a soccer club because the coach didn’t encourage his effort which he has been used to all that while rather he de-motivated him with some harsh words. He lost confidence in his game and felt dejected. What a mammoth task it was on parents now to bring him back out of misconceived notions. Had he was prepared to face such rejections the damage repairing wouldn’t have been needed.
Parenting is not about expecting the right answers from the child but is all about asking the right questions?
As Einstein quoted, “Logic will take us from A to B, but imagination can take us places”, Similarly imbibing logic in children will prepare them for the rat race But virtues of listening to the inner voices and empathy will make them have the world in their stride.
Whose conscience will allow hitting hard a friend and causing a hearing damage which might be temporary but a permanent scar to his self confidence and haunting memories of an etched incident?
But logically, yes that was the part of the game-The bet!!
Often heard, “Be a friend to your child”, but I feel the child will make hundreds of friends however will have only one set of parents to mentor him, coach him not knowing what holds in unforeseen tomorrow!!
So reminding me of one of my favorite tracks by Alan Parsons-
Days are numbers, Watch the stars,
We can only see so far…
The traveler waits the morning tide though he doesn’t know what’s on the other side….