Obedience Begets Dormancy

Only a handpicked of us are right in saying the wrong things!!

One of our prized Bollywood directors so aptly quoted that, “The education system is the biggest assassin of creativity in our children.”

Couldn’t have agreed more on this.

Today being the “Children’s Day”  and most of the children enjoying a prolonged weekend, the malls, cafes the cineplexes are all being thronged by zealous parents to have yet another reason  to celebrate.

When you look at children, what is most appealing thing about them, their innocence, their physical beauty, their innate purity, unwavering playfulness? Yes all of these make them the most adorable beings BUT beyond these what captures and inspires me is their curiosity which we all lose over years because we were asked to GROW UP!!!!

I once came across the most heart wrenching story of a young girl who was raised with utmost love, affection in her fairytale world by her parents.

She loved to paint, solve Chinese puzzles, run around her house and jump like most kids.

One day her mother announced that now it was time for her to enroll in school to make friends and have more fun while she learned her numbers, shapes and alphabets.

The girl was super excited and was imagining her school to be an extension of her fairytale land.

Next day when she walked into the school, she realized that dreams do come true and fairytale lands do exist because the school was watched over by a guard just like the castles were, the rooms were big as were in palaces, the teachers and their accomplice were gentle and courteous as courtiers.

Her excitement knew no bounds.

The teacher came into the class with loads of colour pencils, paint boxes and drawing papers and asked, “Are you all excited”?, all the children except the young girl shouted yes.

The teacher asked her, “aren’t you excited my sweet girl”, she said “Yes”

The teacher continued and said, “then say it with class”!

Young girl screamed “Yes”

Then very tenderly the teacher placed a piece of paper in front of each child and announced, “Today we are going to make a picture.”

The girl was more than happy as she loved to draw pictures. She could not wait and started to draw because she knew to draw peacocks, cranes, butterflies and more.

Wait! Came the sound, “We will draw flower.”

The girl was still happy as she could draw lotus, jasmine lilies and sunflowers in choicest of colours be it purple, yellow, blue or green and she at once picked up her set of colour pencils.

And then comes the sound, “I will tell you how to draw flower.”

The teacher drew a red rose with a green stem on the board and the young girl followed it with blank eyes.

This is what we do consciously or unconsciously to our children.

We probably do so not because we want them to do as we say BUT we want them to be a part of this mad rat race.

Each child is an extension to his parents unmet dreams.

We want them to do, attain and possess things we could not as children.

Very Often in our attempt to give them the best we take what matters most to them and that is their natural instinct of questioning, being somewhat adamant.

My elder boy was initially sent to a different school only to be pulled out in four days , reason he could not associate Hindi Akshar “N” with naak (Nose in hindi) and he continued to say hindi waala N with nose and I in frenzy said “you forget it is nose or naak, you just finish your work”.

The minute I made that remark, I had made up my mind to pull out my son from the school where more than the input, the output mattered.

I don’t know, was it my profession, my education or my experience that prompted that decision but nonetheless it was for “The Best”.

The educational institution that we choose for our children is what we expect them to be, and I certainly didn’t want concepts to be taught but learned because what we are taught we tend to forget But what we learn stays with us.

Gone are the days where parents wanted their children to be doctors, engineers or law professionals, we live in the T20 era where alternate professions are fast paced and better paid.

We all want our children to take such high profile roles, lead organizations, manage business houses, expand ancestral empires, follow creative and artistic instincts.

All we want them is to lead and be The Best in what they do.

But tell me one leader who is:

Not a rebel

Not a dreamer

Not radical

Not independent willed

Not a risk taker

Not Offbeat

Tell me one leader who is “Yes Ma’am” Or “Yes Mumma”.

We at times in raising these pious souls forget that incontestable obedience begets dormancy.

We get perplexed between self discipline and equate it with obedience .

It is as contradictory as Millennials who are living in the tinder age and still believing in DDLJ kind of romance.

All that these kids need is courage to make mistakes and ability to learn from them for the biggest risk in life is “incapability to take risk for the fear of failure”.




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